Category: Writings

I have written all of my life and this collection will be diverse in content and genre.

Respecting the Past; Accepting the Present; Looking to the Future

By Pat Edwards

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Although no one has ever told me directly that I need to quit living in the past, I’m sure
that the thought has occurred to some… especially with the recent issues that we, in Lorane, are facing regarding the closing of our school. Much of the emotional turmoil that has bubbled up around that reality comes from the fond memories that the school has evoked in those of us whose lives have intertwined with our small rural community, however briefly. The past has impacted our lives in ways that those from other, more urban, communities can’t fathom. In the past, when life revolved around home and a single bread-winner, we knew our neighbors and shared our lives with them. Social activities were centered in the church, the Grange, the Odd Fellows and Rebekahs… but especially in the school. There were potlucks and dances and smelt feeds and 4th of July celebrations and baseball games. We had Christmas programs in our school where we watched our children perform and we would all join them in singing Christmas carols.

Even as recently as a few years ago, large funerals have been held in the gymnasium because no other venue in the community would hold the hundreds who gathered to pay their respects. Our neighbors were many times our best friends and, we generally respected each others’ differing political views and could good-naturedly discuss them without fear of making them an enemy.

In the 1960s, we mothers usually went to town once a week to buy groceries and we
frequently scheduled doctor’s appointments on the same day. Lunch at a hamburger stand with the kids on that one day was a big event. When we were lucky enough to lunch with  another adult, we actually talked and listened to each other. Unlike today, conversation did not have to be woven around phone calls or while the other person was reading her text messages or playing a game on her phone.

Kids spent their summers building forts and taking hikes in the woods, bucking hay,
gardening and playing outside in the sunshine and fresh air all day long. Usually, if they didn’t, they found themselves cleaning their rooms or practicing the piano, instead. During the school year, after school and on weekends, they raised livestock or learned to sew or cook in 4-H clubs. Some older boys helped their dads in the woods, learning not only to cut timber, but to build a strong work ethic, as well… and there were always daily chores in addition to homework.

No, it was not an idyllic life. Money was usually tight. Kids usually wore hand-sewn
“hand-me-downs” from older siblings or cousins. There were no designer shoes or clothing that separated the “haves” from the “have-nots,” but respect was taught. Usually it was done with love, but, like today, for some, it was taught with a hard hand.
Yes, it is easy to live in the past, but even though I am now a septuagenarian, I am still
able to look to the future as well as live and function in the present… and I do that every day.

As far as the school closing is concerned, I am a realist. In light of our poor economy and the school funding situation, it’s apparent that the school board had few other choices in order to make the school district run as efficiently as possible. Lorane is about 25 miles from Eugene; Crow is about 15. Most parents now work in Eugene, so placing all of the district’s elementary-age children in Lorane was not feasible when you consider the burden that would be placed on parents who needed to pick them up mid-day for doctor’s appointments, etc. I know this with my mind, but my heart wishes it wasn’t so.

I am a realist. Life, as I described it above, no longer exists in Lorane and I realize that
we will never get it back. Modern technology is here to stay. Most women have taken their rightful place in the work force… not only as a matter of financial necessity, but because that’s where most of them would rather be. Designer clothes, computers and X-boxes, cell phones and texting have taken over our lives so completely that there is no turning back.

I know this, but it still hurts, deeply. The closing of the school is threatening to put a
final stamp on our past and move us into a future over which we have no control. Our rural way of life, not only in Lorane, but all over the state and nation, is at risk with the closing down of our local schools and post offices.

We look for solutions that no longer seem to be there. There is evidence that the
numbers of those willing to work towards finding those solutions, however, are swelling. A group of dedicated community members in Lorane are working diligently to form a charter school. If that does not happen, many of us envision the school building turned into a community center, but the financial obstacles seem almost insurmountable… especially in this economy. If we could fiscally figure out how to obtain, upgrade and maintain the building, how much use would it really get? These things need to be explored. They are concerns and questions that may never find answers because our time is running out.

Regardless of the outcome, in the time that we have remaining to search for these
answers, we want our past… our history, embodied within the Lorane Elementary School… to be treated with respect. Only by understanding and respecting the successes and failures of our past, can we move confidently into the future knowing that we have done everything possible to control our own destiny.

Unicorn Spring Ranch: Riding a Rainbow

By Pat Edwards

Finding the pot of gold called self-esteem at the end of life’s rainbow is difficult enough for those of us who only have to be concerned about what kind of makeup to wear, whether or not we can afford to eat a second piece of cake, or what our credit limit is on our Visa card. But for those among us who are faced with serious emotional, mental, or physical obstacles, that rainbow can seem alien and unapproachable, and its pot of gold out of reach.

volunteers-littlegirlsmiles-56Children and adults alike are gradually attaining what must seem to them to be an impossible and, to many, an unrealistic goal. Children, especially, are being introduced to animal-facilitated therapy at Unicorn Spring Ranch, a nominee for the 1993 President’s Volunteer Action Award, located in the small rural community of Lorane, Oregon.

In 1990, with the help of a former graduate student, Dr. Hilary Cash, Russian-born psychologist Dr. Katarina Cernozubov-Digman moved her ranch to Lorane from Hawaii where they had discovered that their emotionally disabled patients responded better in the natural setting of a ranch. They found that, particularly for children, the cold, sterile environment of a medical office does not tend to promote the relaxed kind of setting in which trust can be established. In addition, they found that their patients were sometimes more easily able to establish that trust first in an animal. Many of the emotionally unstable soon discovered that by learning to control the behavior of a large animal, they began to gain control of their own behavior, as well.

volunteers-57The idea for animal-facilitated therapy was developed some time ago from data which indicated that animals and humans have historically had a special and sometimes therapeutic relationship. There is evidence of the positive effects of introducing pets to long-term prison inmates, residents of convalescent homes, and people with high blood pressure. Horse therapy has been used for years with physically disabled people–the blind, the hearing impaired, those with cerebral palsy, muscular dystrophy, and other physical disabilities–but, through her work as a psychologist and a member of the Denver-based North American Riding for the Handicapped Association (NARHA), Dr. Digman is considered to be a pioneer in the use of horses for the emotionally disabled, as well.

According to Dr. Digman, “Horses are such big animals. If you feel helpless, like everything is out of control, this big creature is there to listen to you, like you, look forward to seeing you.

“Animals provide a lot of unconditional affection. You may have gotten an F on a test, but your dog is still glad to see you. They respond very honestly, so you know where you stand at all times.”

Funded by private contributions of cash, time, materials, and horses, Unicorn Spring Ranch is one of six centers affiliated with NARHA in Oregon and one of 450 in the U.S. There are only 36 accredited people in the United States who are trained and qualified to work with emotionally disabled children in this fashion. The fees are charged on a sliding scale based on the family’s ability to pay. Insurance companies are beginning to recognize and pay for these services as is the state justice departments, victim compensation programs, and county mental health organizations.

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One of the Unicorn Ranch’s Outreach Programs… visiting nursing homes and senior centers with therapy ponies

Unicorn Spring Ranch is operated on a smaller scale than some other facilities, but the difference it makes to those who participate in its program is far from small. At least fifteen children and a few adults come to the ranch 2-3 times per week where they learn to care for and ride the sweet-natured, gentle horses that are made available to them. Most are able to form a bond with the horse or pony assigned them. They soon find that they are offered unconditional affection from the animals–something that some of the children have never experienced in troubled home environments. Their mutual experiences with riding, cleaning tack, and feeding opens a door of communication with not only each other, but with the therapists, as well. They soon learn how to make a friend, albeit a four-legged one, but frequently the lesson is eventually transferred to people, too. If the process works, the pot of gold begins to seem closer and, for some, even attainable. If the horses are, at first, too intimidating to some of the children, they usually find friends among the ducks, chickens, ferrets, cats, and dogs that are also available to them at the ranch.

Parents are enthusiastic about the program. Rob Tarver brought his son, Julian, to Unicorn Spring Ranch to see how its program might address Julian’s variety of problems including attention deficit syndrome, allergies, and speech and hearing problems. “Julian has learned its okay to make mistakes,” Tarver said. “There might be consequences, but he is still valued.”

Another parent told of the success the program has had on her four children ranging in ages from 6 to 13 in the year and a half that they have participated. The oldest child was extremely shy and withdrawn. She has since become a “super performer”, skipped two grades, and is doing great according to her teachers. Another of the children is now able to make friends more easily. A son has gained a great deal of confidence and, according to his mother, “is asking questions instead of being argumentative. My kids have had bad things happen to them. They are learning they are not responsible for what people did to them, and they are developing a sense of humor.”

One mother enrolled her son, who had behavior problems and trouble with his temper, in the program after having him in conventional therapy for over 5 years. During that time he had been put on various medications that never seemed to work. After 4 months in the animal-facilitated therapy program at Unicorn Spring Ranch, his mother has seen a “100% change” in her son. “He has learned a lot of self-control, is making friends, and is now off medication for the first time in about 6 years. He just loves it.”

Dr. Digman’s most dramatic success story, however, centers around a young boy in Hawaii who had witnessed the murder of his parents. The trauma sent the boy into a self-imposed world of silence which defied conventional therapy treatments.

According to Dr. Digman, “After a period of animal-facilitated therapy, the child began bonding with a horse. We began to hear him murmuring to it. We heard him say, ‘You don’t have a mom. I don’t have a mom. We can be friends.'”

The group therapy sessions at Unicorn Spring Ranch are usually 30-45 minutes long in which each emotionally troubled participant joins in group therapy and weekly reviews followed by games, drills, and other activities on horseback where each learns to communicate and strengthens his or her budding confidence, attention, concentration, coordination, cooperation, and memory skills. After the horses are cared for and put away, a group counseling session follows where verbal communications to build social skills are encouraged. Arts and crafts projects incorporating art and play therapies are frequently used individually or in groups as needed, as well.

Besides her patients with emotional disabilities, Dr. Digman also works with physically disabled kids and adults. Many whose legs and arms are stiffened by cerebral palsy or are atrophied from years of sitting in a wheelchair soon find that their worlds have expanded. The rigid muscles frequently relax, and they gain a new perspective from the back of a horse. The sense of freedom is no longer a concept. It becomes a reality. These students are aided by volunteers called “sidewalkers” who lead the horses and/or walk at the side of the horse to keep the rider squarely in the saddle.

Dr. Digman’s most successful physically challenged patient was a young woman who suffered from muscular dystrophy and could barely walk or speak. Other therapists had written her off as a lost cause.

Digman worked with the woman for four years. At the beginning of her therapy, the woman learned to ride a pony while being attended by three volunteer sidewalkers. She eventually graduated to riding the pony on her own. From there, she began riding larger horses, and, by the end of her therapy, was riding in horse shows. “Now,” Dr. Digman said, “the woman has been through speech therapy, has learned to take the bus around town, and holds a job.”

In a letter written to Dr. Digman, the young woman wrote of the benefits she felt she received in participating in the program. “I have learned to really like myself and feel proud of what I have accomplished. I feel that this program has given me the opportunity to develop and create a new self-image which is very positive. I now feel more like a “normal” person rather than a handicapped person that can’t fit with the rest of the world. My mind is more at ease. I feel less tense and more able to relax. Because of this, I feel very strongly that my mind has been stimulated and is now more active. I think more about many things and feel more free, not so ‘trapped’ by my handicaps. Another thing that happened is that I learned a new sense of self-awareness. I didn’t realize how much horses feel in response to me. Sometimes I would make my horse, Puma, angry. This taught me to be aware of myself and my behaviors, and to be more careful so I can get the response I want out of my horse and that, of course, has helped me to learn to relate to people in a more successful manner.

“Then the (horse) show! When I saw all those people–‘normal’ people, I was really scared. I was afraid of how I looked on a horse with my handicaps. I was really afraid of how they would be thinking of me. But, I learned to risk. I went in the show anyway, and all the people liked me! They applauded me! They accepted me! I felt so happy!”

One of Dr. Digman’s most loyal and experienced helpers is her daughter, Marusia, who is an accomplished horsewoman. Marusia and her Arabian horse, Daydreamer, are usually on hand to help in whatever capacity they are needed. She feeds the horses, exercises them, and helps to organize the drills that are used during the therapy sessions. As her mother’s assistant, Marusia also warms up the horses before anyone else mounts, helps to pair up a horse with a new ‘student’, and introduces people and horses in an informal environment.

Many of the horses that have helped to make life much brighter for the children and adults at Unicorn Spring Ranch were brought from Hawaii. The children call Puma the magical horse; Silky Rascal helped two students regain the desire to talk; Shadow is a pretty palomino with a sweet temperament; Popcorn, one of the ponies, has introduced many of the newcomers to the world of horses. Then there are True Lady who is always in one little girl’s prayers; and Silver who, according to one of her friends, is “special.”

The horses’ breed doesn’t seem to matter. Ideally, the horses used in the program should be abuse-free and gentle, but sometimes horses with troubled pasts have been beneficial. One of the ranch’s horses had been used for medical experiments before it was obtained for the program and it was a long time before it was able to trust anyone. Another one of the horses had been mistreated by previous owners and cowered in the corner of its stall when it was first brought to the ranch. The children frequently have been able to relate to the troubled pasts of their mounts, and it’s possible that such a horse can sense and relate to the tentative grasp of the small unsure rider on its back, as well.

According to NARHA guidelines, the type of horse being recruited for the NARHA programs across the country should possess “a quiet, spookproof attitude, smooth gaits, good manners and temperament, and physical soundness. Horses should not be younger than five years. No stallions, please. And if a horse is voice-trained, it gets a gold star. Potential horses are put through a series of tests at NARHA centers and must pass a probationary period before they are accepted.”

Human volunteers are also an essential part of the therapy process. At Unicorn Spring Ranch, they are sought as sidewalkers, but also to help with horse grooming, tack cleaning, exercising, transportation, games, correspondence, fundraisers, horseshows, ride-a-thons, campouts, and a multitude of other needed jobs.

Those who want more information about animal-facilitated therapy should contact the home office of the North American Riding for the Handicapped Association, P.O. Box 33150, Denver, Colorado 80233, or call (303) 452-1212. If you choose to become involved, you will be rewarded in the knowledge that you may have helped to bring a rainbow’s pot of gold within reach of a troubled child.

In the words of one little boy, “Horse therapy is horse riding, happiness, and feelings.”

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Capitol Press, Salem, Oregon, 1993
Cottage Grove Sentinel, Cottage Grove, Oregon, January 29, 1992
The Register-Guard, Eugene, Oregon, January 27, 1992
West-Lane News, Veneta, Oregon, February 10, 1994
Willamette Wrangler, Salem, Oregon, June, 1991

Published in From Sawdust and Cider to Wine, 2006

Eulogy for a Tomboy

By Pat Edwards

(Written in 1991 when Lane County proposed to tear down or move our home when the restructure of Lorane Highway was being planned… We won, by the way! The house now belongs to our daughter Michele and her husband Brian Kau where they raised their 3 girls, Stephanie, Linsey and Hayley)

No one knows how old she really is. A good guess would be 80 or 90 years. For the 25 years that Her family has known Her, She has been all tomboy ‒ definitely not the debutante sort. Her exterior is rather scruffy and pretty much devoid of makeup. But, there has always been a life and gaiety within Her. For the past 25 years She has embraced those who love Her ‒ sheltering them from not only Mother Nature’s storms, but the storms of life as well. Only recently has She begun to take on some adornments. There has been so little time until now.

Life around Her has never been dull. There were four children to raise into adulthood. Over the years, in addition to those kids and their parents, She has taken to Her bosom the cousin who was expelled from school for smoking marijuana; the foreign exchange student who spent a school year with them; the two huge football players from California who stayed with them while going to college; two teenage girls who needed a home; and a whole variety of friends who “spent the night.”

When They first came, those 26 years ago, They slapped a coat of paint on Her and got most of the trim done. They planted a couple of trees in the yards surrounding Her and tried to grow a few flowers. But in the early years, the care and feeding of four kids, tending the huge vegetable garden, doing the farm chores, canning in the summer, and many other activities left little time for helping Her to gain much charm or beauty. And then there was Brigitte, that beautiful, gentle St. Bernard, like Peter Pan’s Nana, who helped to take care of the kids and to keep the peace, but who also had no awareness of or respect for those few flowers and shrubs surrounding Her. Then there were the succession of 4-H animals ‒ steers, heifers, rabbits, and sheep ‒ who were brought into Her yards for their baths, grooming and training sessions, not to mention the ponies and horses that became members of the family. All contributed to Her tomboy appearance. But, oh, how much love permeated through Her and around Her!

The children are all grown now. The days of the hectic schedules of football, volleyball, and basketball games, track meets, gymnastic and music lessons, 4-H meetings and fairs, booster club meetings, school board meetings, P.T.C. and Parent Network meetings have passed.

It has only been in the past few years that They have been able to concentrate their efforts in making a swan out of the ugly duckling. She has been given a new exterior and awaits Her new coat of paint. Plans have been drawn for a new kitchen; new carpeting was planned. She has new windows and a new front door. Her yards have been fenced and manicured. The dandelions are almost gone. Best of all, She now has flower beds with blooms from early spring through the fall. Her trees have become graceful and provide cool shade in the summer. There is a peace and serenity about Her. She has done Her job well.

But, her time for grace is not to be. They have been informed that by next spring, Their beloved tomboy of a home will be gone. Modern life dictates that the ground on which She has rested for so long must be used for a bigger, wider highway. She cannot be moved. She would not be the same. The damage that would be caused to Her by a move would require life support measures to keep Her going. Though a tomboy, She still possesses a dignity ‒ one which would not allow the humiliation of standing on an island surrounded by asphalt, or being moved to a sight foreign to Her.

Because cars need to speed and bicycles need a safe place to be ridden, she must go ‒ and They must grieve.

The Home Place